I found too many funny ones this week, so Its a Top 10 list!
Texts From Last Night
10. dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
9. I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
(: seek help
8. the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
7. he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff
6. just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
5. Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
(1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
(513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
4. guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
3. halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
2. In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums
1. gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
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